


our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees

by thecanary



Series: A Softer DeadPoetsSociety [1]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Kissing, M/M, Peak Romance, being in love, neil's death referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 23:27:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16504862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecanary/pseuds/thecanary
Summary: (today is the most exciting day of our lives.)Neil and Todd have their best day, not a meeting with just the two of them, but theyre in the cave together nonetheless and thats what counts for the two of them.Todd has his worst day, after that





	our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees

"Should we be having a meeting on our own?"  
Neil, candle in hand, grinned. "It's not a meeting if we're on our own. It's just us. The two of us and the rest of the world."

With a shake of his head, Todd sighed. There was no winning in a conversation - disagreement - with Neil. Neil and his radiant eyes and white bright teeth and everything else that made Todd so powerless to disagree with him. Todd followed Neil, whole heartedly.

Todd followed Neil. Todd trusted Neil. Even before a confession held at the base of a tree, candle in hand with Neil absent mindedly burned leaves, making sure to stamp them out with his school issue shoes, even before that there was implicit trust between them. An understanding that it was them vs the world, them vs the school, them vs their teachers; Neil and Todd, waging a war on everything that said that were they were was wrong. 

Their first kiss, in a cave empty but for them and the remaining embers of a fire, it wasn't wrong. For Neil it was like coming home and for Todd it was everything his life had been missing before then. Neil's grin as they pulled away from each other, hands on each other's neck and shoulders trying to keep the physical contact going, it made Todd realise they were doomed. Neil was burning too fast, too hot, a star about to go supernova leaving ruin behind it as it went. Todd hoped he was wrong - everyone else told him he was all too frequently, so maybe he could hope that this time it was true, that things weren't gonna go as he thought they would. 

Their love burned dangerous. Risking the two of them - if anyone were to find out, that would be it, if anyone were to see them, it would be over; but it also risked their other friends - willing to take the fall to say they knew were Neil and Todd were, not saying a word about Neil and Todd's meetings together. After lights out in their dorms, Neil and Todd would manage to be quiet enough, moving their blankets to lie on the floor between their beds, waking up early to erase the evidence. 

Neil without Todd, or Todd without Neil, it didn't make sense. There was no point in considering it for either of them. 

"Today's the best day," Neil said. "Mark it in your calendar."  
"Why?"  
"I said so. Today is the day we're going to look back at when we're older, I promise you."

The saddest thing was that he was right. It was one of the things Neil thought of, to comfort himself, and it was a moment that Todd remembered for years and decades after that. With the world falling apart around them, they had each other.

"it's like, we're the heroes here," Neil said, back against the wall of the cave, Todd's head resting in his lap. "We're the good guys, and the world wants to see us lose."

Todd gave a hum of agreement; the passion Neil held for everything was just one of many things that Todd found so fascinating about Neil - Neil always wanted to be right, to be perfect, and to fight the good fight. Todd could rarely get up the courage to disagree with someone, let alone have the amount of disobedience and dedication to what he wanted to do that Neil had. 

Their best day was warm. The sun beating down on their school shirts, cheeks blushing red. 

Once they were inside, the air cooling gradually outside, it was just the two of them. Not against the world, the world was forgotten, their world was each other. Schoolwork and teachers and parents and correctness forgotten by the wayside as they sat, as close as they could be to each other. Neil reading lines and Todd writing poetry, speaking to each other and themselves at the same time because that was all that mattered. 

"I see what you mean," Todd remarked.  
"Good." Neil's smirk was stubborn on his face.  
"About this being our best day."  
"I know."  
"Though there's one thing that could make it better."  
"Oh?"

And they kissed. Carefully, more wary than their kisses in the cave, hidden from the world underground. It made the day better, the two of them grinning, but it didn't measure up.

Maybe that's what Neil realised. The world only accepted them, as they were, where they couldn't be seen. Underground. Hidden.

When Todd was out in the snow, that's what he told himself. When he felt like all the warmth from his life had burned out with Neil, like Neil had been a candle blown out, or a fire that raged so hard so strong and left Todd behind, empty and fragile, he told himself at least they had their good day. Snow in his mouth, knees and hands wet, confused and hurt and upset, that's what he told himself. He whispered, comforting himself with words that the others wouldn't understand the depth of. 

"At least we had our best day. It was our best day."

**Author's Note:**

> okay so im working off a prompt list that i've decided to do for dead poets society! so cheers!


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